Three Things...

1.  Therapy. I'm still going. I need to. Especially lately, as I've been feeling a bit more depressed and the anxiety has been ramping up a bit. A lot has been going on and its not all good. So, that's why I'm feeling the way I've been feeling. Ugh. Its frustrating and hard. But, I am sticking with the therapy to help me navigate through all of it.  It must be working, because at least now I am more aware of the shift in my mood so that I can start work harder to get a handle on it. So, yeah, getting help has really helped me. Its also allowed me to feel free to be open about what I'm going through and how I'm feeling. I just emailed my friend Kris and shared with him about my last therapy session. I told him how I just now finally realized how numb the depression has made. I was so disconnected, that I just found myself doing things and choosing things that were easiest - like, I didn't stop to think whether or not I liked it or wanted it, I just went along and picked whatever was expected from me. Does that make sense? Anyhow, I told him how at 40 I am finally starting to figure out what I really like and don't like. How crazy and sad! I can see now how so many parts of my life were affected by this, but how I never really realized it before.  I'm just grateful that I'm in such a better place and that I am working through all of this. In fact, I finally started to write again. I was always a writer, but I just stopped. That's why I think I became so obsessed with journaling, because at least I was still writing, even it wasn't fiction or poetry. It was something and that was all I needed.  But now, I am feeling so much better, that I can see I need more. I need to write my stories and poems - they are who I am. So, I wrote something and it wasn't my best work, but it still felt awesome. It felt so good to just pour everything into this short piece. I can't stop thinking about it and how I want to fix it. I almost feel like "me".  Anyhow, I just wanted to share that I'm doing better and that the therapy is helping. Thanks for reading these posts and your kind comments - I really do appreciate them so much.

On a lighter note...

2.  Rachel Hollis. Girl, Stop Apologizing. I just finished this book. I had seen it all over IG and couldn't help but be curious. Especially, since I am all about finding your purpose and being who you were made to be. I am so into these types of books lately. Nonfiction is my jam!  And so, I got a copy and started reading and reading and reading. This book was so good. I found myself stopping every so often, just so I could jot down something from the book, or so I could think about how much the words struck a chord with me.  It was crazy how some lines just felt like they were meant for me. The fact that it touched me so deeply, means that I found this book at just the right time. So, of course now I want to read Hollis' other book: Girl, Wash Your Face.  How could I not, right? Have you read it? Let me know what you think.

3.  TV shows/Music.  Southern Charm was ridiculous. The whole episode seemed to consist of everyone confronting K over her lack of phone etiquette. Meaning, she didn't answer Danni's phone call so its now the end of the world. Yep, it was lame and rather a waste of an episode.  The only highlight was looking at the pretty treehouses they would be staying in - they really did look like something out of a fairy tale. As for NYC Housewives, well that was another bore. The ladies recover from Sonia's disastrous drinking the night before. They all head out to check out art, except for Ramona who needs to "rest" before the party she is throwing that night. All the gals get free pieces of art work by famous artists and laugh that Ramona missed out on it all. The party is a bunch of random people thrown together so that Ramona can show off to her ex-husband Mario that she has a date. Tinsley cries that she misses her ex, while her sister hugs her. All in all, it was a bore. Next week looks good though - all the women tell Lu that life is in fact not a cabaret, much to her chagrin. I can't wait!!  Of course, trashy TV shows are not the only things I watch. I will be catching up on Fear The Walking Dead this weekend ( I missed the first ep of the new season).  I will definitely be watching the latest season of The Handmaid's Tale and starting When They See Us. So much good TV to watch!!

As for music, its been all about Natalie Merchant these past few days. I just love her voice!

And now, I'm off to journal. Hope you are having a lovely week. Happy reading!!