Turning 38...ack!

Its my birthday and I will cry if I want to. Yep, I'm turning 38 today and I'm just not happy about it. I don't know if its because I'm creeping up on the big 4-0.  Or if its about the fact that my 40 before 40 list has gone to the wayside. Then again, it could be that lately I've been feeling rather stuck. Whatever the reason, I'm not keen on my birthday this year. I thought posting a birthday wish list would cheer me up, but it didn't.

Normally, I'm cool with getting older. Except, I was brushing my hair the other day and noticed a few grey strands mixed in with my chocolate brown hair - the horror! So, I quickly yanked them out and have been checking my hair ever since. The crazy thing is that I always said I would embrace my grey hairs - what happened?!

Oh, and did I mention that my anxiety has gotten worse. It has. I'm getting worked up over the most inane things - its seriously bothering me.

So, to kick off turning 38, I've decided to turn to a book:

What do you think?  I thought it sounded like something I needed to read ASAP.  A book that will inspire and motivate me - two things I seriously need right now. So, fingers crossed it helps.  And just in case, I have backup:

I watched Strayed on Oprah's Super Soul Sunday talking about this book of quotes and realized I needed it in my life. So, I definitely plan on dipping in and out of this one starting...NOW!

Let me know if you've read either book and what you thought of it. Do you think they'll help get me out of my ruttish state of mind? Here's to hoping they will. And now I'm off to read, You Are A Badass.  Happy reading!!

Non-Bookish Thoughts...

Its Christmas month - hurrah!  This means yuletide treats, lots of decorations and festive music, and some lovely pressies to exchange with loved ones.  It also means lots of quality family time.  How exciting!! Of course, all of these things translates to one heck of a busy month.  My reading will most definitely take a dive during the month of December, but I'm okay with that.  I figure as long as I read at least one book a week, I'm ace.  Anyhow, I just wanted to share what I've been up to lately:

•  The Walking Dead mid-season finale.  Ugh! I have to admit that I wasn't surprised Beth was killed off.  her story line lacked and they really needed to get away from that crazy hospital. I did feel bad watching Daryl crying as he carried her body out of the hospital.  One tweeter wrote, "When Daryl cries, the world cries."  How true! LOL!  I did enjoy watching Morgan at the end - seems like he was tracing their steps and now has confirmation that Rick Grimes is near.  I'm really looking forward to seeing where the next half of the season takes up (especially as this half was a bit lackluster at times).  Here's to a Rick and Morgan reunion!

• My sister and I bought our mom and dad a new dining table for their house.  Its their Christmas gift.  Our mom is so excited.  It gets delivered tomorrow! Can't wait to have Christmas dinner on it.
• I've been culling my closet and its been rather eye-opening.  I had completely forgotten about so many of the things I'd shoved in there.  I have so many cute handbags whose dust bags are collecting dust because I never use them - ack! I took down one of my old MJs to start using NOW.  I can't believe that I was telling my sister I wanted a new leather Longchamp for Christmas - talk about handbag addiction!!  And then there are all my Havaianas languishing in a basket.  I've been wearing the same pair forever.  What is wrong with me!?!  Anyhow, I'm filling a few bags with clothes, shoes, and handbags to donate - so, its working out.  Of course, its a work in progress, as I tend to want to hold on to things for much too long.  Like my worn out converse that used to be black and now resemble a murky grey color - ugh!
• I'm backing this weekend, which means I've been going through my cookbooks this week.  I love giving out homemade treats to family and friends.  I usually wait a little later in the month to do it, but am in the mood to bake now.  So, I've written my lists of ingredients to buy and people I want to gift these yummy yuletide desserts to.  My sister is going to help.  We are making fudge, pecan bars, linzers, mini-loafs of banana bread, and scones.  Delicious!!
• I just read an article in my new copy of Vogue about regifting.  They referenced the Seinfeld episode where Elaine discover that Tim Whatley (aka Walter White) has regifted the label maker she gave him to Jerry. I love that episode!! Of course, I love any Seinfeld episode, so I'm rather biased.  Anyhow, this article got me to thinking about the idea of regifting.  Everyone does it, even if they don't admit it.  I know I've done it a few times with gift cards I'd received and didn't think I'd use.  However, tangible gifts that were given to me by close friends or family I tend to keep (even if I don't particularly like it).  I tend to think about the thought put into the gift and decide that its a keeper.  What about you?  Do you regift?  Is it really that bad to regift?
• And finally, I got this book in the post earlier this week:
   
  How exciting!! Reading a new Murakami during the holidays - I love it!! The book came shrink-wrapped and when I opened it, I couldn't help but smile.  I just know that I'm in for something special with this book and can't wait to read it.  I'm hoping to get to it tomorrow.  And now, I'm off to watch Little Women on the telly.  I watched The Thing Called Love earlier ( I love this movie!!! ) and the menu said that Little Women was coming on soon.  So, I have to watch Laurie grow smitten with Jo.  Hope you all have a great weekend filled with lots of books!

Non-Bookish Thoughts...

I have been reading up a storm lately and loving every minute of it.  The only problem is that I haven't been too eager to post about these reads.  I'm hoping that I get a chance to rectify the situation this weekend.   Then again, I've been feeling a bit out of sorts regarding my blogging - I just feel that I'm in a slump.  Everything I review feels too similar - its like I can't think of new ways to write about how much I loved a book. Ugh!  Maybe its the weather - Fall is nigh.  Of course, I have noticed other bloggers mentioning their blogging slumps as well, so maybe its something the water.  Aside from blogging, my thoughts are wrapped up in...

• Planning my mom's 60th birthday bash.  My sis and I are throwing it for her next month and we are excited!  We've booked the location, picked the food, made the guest list and checked it twice.  Now we just need to get the DJ a play list, pick the cake, make the party favors, and write a little speech to make the toast with.  We are so looking forward to good food, lots of dancing, and visiting with all of our out-of-town guests!  Can't wait!
• The Cosby Show.  Yep, I'm currently addicted to watching the Huxtable family and all of their non-drama.  That show is hilarious and I can't help but laugh out loud each time I watch an episode.  Binge-watching a TV show is the best!

•  De-cluttering my desk.  It is a huge mess at the moment - full of books, papers, receipts, pens, notebooks, etc.  I just need to organize it and shelve those books.  Looking at it drives me bonkers!
• Figuring out what foods I can't eat.  My acid reflux is acting up and I just need to tackle the problem, which is eating all the foods that activate it - ugh!  I'm going to miss orange juice, chocolate, and pizza. 
• Listening to the new Better Than Ezra CD, All Together Now.  I am just loving it to bits!  Reminds me of college when I was obsessed with their music.  I've seen them three times in concert and they get better each time.  

•  Fall.  I'm already thinking about the upcoming holiday season.  I can't help it when all the stores already have Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas decorations up.  Its crazy, but I love it!  I'm already planning the Thanksgiving menu - yum!  And, I'm excited about decorating for Fall - I want to do it before the relatives start showing up for my mom's party next month.   Oh, and I can't wait for The Walking Dead to start.  How are they going to get out of that train?  Are Rick and Carl going to reunite with baby Judith?  And what about Beth - where is she?  So many questions to be answered and I can't wait! 

Hope everyone has a great weekend! I'm off to tackle some more party planning and hopefully sneak an episode or two of The Cosby Show. Cheers!

Non-Bookish Thoughts...

I'm 36.  It happened earlier this week and I have to admit that it wasn't so bad.  I thought I would be in tears when it happened - crying over getting older - but I wasn't.  Instead, I was too busy enjoying celebrating my birthday with loved ones.  There was lots of yummy food, a delicious ice cream cake (my favorite!), lovely cards and birthday wishes.  It was a very happy birthday.  I even received some books - hurrah!  Here are my new lovelies:

I'm so excited about my new reads that I'm not sure which one I should read first.  Any suggestions?  I'm leaning toward My Salinger Year by Joanna Rakoff.  Of course, it will probably make me want to re-read Salinger after and then I'll be adding more books to my TBR pile.  Oh, the woes of being a bookworm.


Aside from my birthday, my week has been filled with writing.  I've been writing a lot more lately, but I've also been throwing out a lot of it as well.  Its rather frustrating.  So, I've been watching too much TV, listening to the new Jenny Lewis CD on repeat, and reading to distract myself from thinking about how badly I've been writing lately.  I plan on culling my bookshelves later today as another means of distraction.  Well, the book culling is actually something I've been mulling over for a while.  You see, I'm thinking of only keeping the books that I absolutely LOVE - books by favorite authors and books I will most definitely re-read.  All of the other books will get donated to the local senior citizen's center (the ones that I read and liked, but have already forgotten about).  My only worry is that I will regret getting rid of some of the books, because I think I secretly am a book hoarder (ugh!).  Hmm...what to do?  What do you think?  Should I just keep them all?

Well, Bergdorf Blondes is beckoning me, so I'm off to do some reading. And I'm leaving you with Jenny Lewis, so that you can get a taste of her music.  Enjoy!

Non-Bookish Thoughts...

Okay, so I'm one of those folks that totally believes in signs and gut feelings.  Like, I was at the grocery store the other day and I saw this man clutching a $25 scratchcard and got this overwhelming need to purchase one as well - the exact kind he had.  And guess what?  I won $100!  Pretty nifty, eh?  Or the time I decided to listen to my dream and read a Kurt Vonnegut novel and then he became my absolute favorite writer (he's the author I re-read most) of all time.  And then there was that other time I went with my gut and asked someone out for coffee and he became SOMEONE in my life.  So, you see my track record is not all that bad. 

Well, today I was reading my copy of Elle (a magazine that I have been debating to stop reading - I want to cancel my subscription, but I've already paid up until 2016 so its a moot point right now) and I saw two things that I'm convinced are signs that turning 36 is going to be the BEST thing ever.  The first was an article about clothes.  Yes, I know that sounds shallow, but its true.  The article was called, Goodbye To All That.  Originally I wasn't even going to read it, but then I read the blurb and decided that I could totally relate - "How does a thirtysomething woman dress - and feel - exactly her age: not young, exactly, but not old, either?"  So, I started to read and found out that the author had just turned 36 - talk about coincidence (I am turning 36 next month!).  To celebrate, she decided to gift herself a "closet cleanse" - two women come to your home and go through your wardrobe and get rid of anything/everything that shouldn't be there (like the short skirt you wore in your twenties, to the loud jacket you thought was quirky, to the scuffed boots you never wear anymore).  Then they advise you on what you should buy (to fill the now empty closet), so that you can achieve the "new look" you are going for - polished, pulled together, and playful.  Reading this article made me realize that I could totally relate.  My style is a mishmash of cheap/expensive clothing that does not really say much about who I am now.  When I was younger it was easier to dress for the day - I would go with my mood.  If I wanted to feel girly, I would wear a flowing dress with boots; if I wanted to feel French, I would wear a pretty scarf and ballet flats; and if I wanted to feel academic, I'd wear my corduroy blazer and boyfriend jeans.  But now, my idea of dressing up is making sure to put on a bracelet and a dab of lip gloss. Ugh!  I live in my ratty Beatles tee shirts, ripped jeans, and Converse.  Sometimes I wear a pretty blouse to feel feminine. Or I make sure to carry my Tory Burch or Marc Jacobs handbag to feel stylish.  Reading this article made me realize I need help.  I can't afford a "closet cleanse", but I can definitely use my own common sense and cull my own wardrobe.  Plus, I can drag my sister shopping with me and get some new things.  I want my "new look" to reflect that I'm older and wiser - but still youthful (I am only turning 36 after all). 

Now, for the second thing I read in Elle - it was a review of Murakami's latest book (which comes out in August!!).  According to the magazine, the book is an amazing new masterpiece (no big surprise there).  Anyhow, it wasn't the review that captured my attention, it was this quote:

"Though he lacked a striking personality, or any qualities that made him stand out, and despite always aiming for what was average, the middle of the road, there was (or seemed to be) something about him that wasn't exactly normal, something that set him apart.  And this contradiction continued to perplex and confuse him, from his boyhood all the way to the present, when he was 36 years old."

He's 36!  The protagonist in Murakami's, Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage, is 36 years old - how perfect!  Not only did learning that fact make me even more excited about reading the book, but it really made think that turning 36 is definitely going to be quite a "pilgrimage" of learning and I am ready for it.  I really feel like this book is coming out at the perfect time (just after my birthday).  How cool!

Of course, all of this thinking about getting older has made me realize that I've neglected my "40 before 40" list.  I don't think I've crossed anything off of it this year - ack!  So, I really need to start looking over it and get to work ASAP.  Especially now that I've learned my friend Kris' list has so many more items crossed off of it than mine.  Yes, I'm feeling a bit competitive.  I think it helps to spur me on (or at least I want it to).  Anyhow, that's what I've been thinking about today.  Now I need to go eat some pizza and read - I still have to finish my copy of Elle.  Have a great weekend!